Eclectically Speaking

Dizzy

2011-08-19T08:43:00.001-07:00

I’ve been quiet, I know.
Summer is almost over, it went by so fast.
What I have I been doing?
Nothing.

See, back in May when all things were good and Spring was just the beginning of all I had planned for this summer, I got sick. I am generally a very healthy person, and the bug I had did it’s time and left, or so I thought. That little bug just quietly worked his way in my inner ear and then the dizzies began. I had no other symptoms, other than getting dizzy periodically. Then it got worse. It’s hard to have a good summer when you are dizzy all the time. At first I just thought it would run it’s course and just started drinking more. Heck, drinking makes me loopy anyway, figured I wouldn’t even be bothered by the dizzies if I had a few cocktails in me. This did not work for long. It just made me feel worse..go figure.

Don’t get me wrong, I was seeing the doctor during this time to trying to figure out what was going on. It’s been two months and in that two months the docs had me going to Physical Therapy, put me on steroids and 4 types of antibiotics. I got inhalers, nasal sprays, nasal rinses and ear drops. I’m a wimp when it comes to meds, so it took a few tries to find something that didn’t have my face planted into my keyboard an hour after taking. Now, I’m only on the antibiotic that has enough side effects to deal with. At lease I can appear functional and get through the day, but the moment I get home my butt has been in bed. It stinks. I keep telling myself, it could be worse, a lot worse. I can’t deny I have noticed some improvement, but it’s discouraging that I will not know for certain until I am done with this antibiotic. Being that one of the side effects of this drug is, well, dizziness. I just won’t know until I can get through it. 7 more days.

I’m halfway there.

2011 Estes Park Wool Market

2011-06-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

This last month the Wool Market was the happening place in Estes Park, CO. If you have never been to Estes Park, it really is worth the visit. It is so beautiful, with deer, elk and moose just hanging out with the rest of us. The views are absolutely breath taking.

We arrived around 10 am at the Fairgrounds which was very easy to find, right off the highway. There was ample parking when we got there so it was already starting off to be a great day.

Now, you know those butterflies that start fluttering all about when you are excited about something? Well, I those butterflies were all over the place for me, I was supa excited as we made our way to the our first tent, which was the Vendor tent.

From WoolFest

So many luscious fibers to see, fondle, grope, fondle. I got overwhelmed. I did a walk through once and didn't purchase a thing. I think my mind just went into over drive with all the creative inspirations I just didn’t know what to do! I realized that the sheep sheering demonstration was coming up so, I figured it would be a good opportunity to try to gather my bearings and come up with a strategic plan for when I was ready to dive back into the vendor tent.

After the sheep shearing, I went off to visit the critters in the other tents. There was the Sheep Tent, Goat Tent, Alpaca Tent and Bunny tent. Boy was I in spinner critter heaven! It took a lot of will power, not to be confused with “wheel” power to not buy the cute little bunny with floppy ears and eyes that promised beautiful fur she would allow me to spin into next to skin soft yarns. Sigh. Someday little bunny, someday.

So I made my way back to the vendor tent, this time with a plan in mind. I started on my mission. I picked up some Alpaca because the 3 pounds I already have at home isn’t enough, but this was very pretty dyed alpaca. I got some Wensendale wool since I nave not yet spun with Wensyndal wool. I also got lots and lots of mohair locks. Some already dyed and some natural so I can play around dyeing my own.I subscribed to Wild Fibers magazine and also got a calendar from this artist. So cute!

Just when I thought I was done, next thing I knew my arms where full of really cool fibers from Bonkers. I don’t know what happened, one minute I was on my way out, finished shopping, the next I was in her booth drooling. What can you do? It’s not my fault she put some “moth to a fire” spell on her fibers.

Good thing Tour De Fleece is coming up. I have sooo much to choose from and spin up. Did I tell you I also ordered my bulky flyer for my matchless? Life is good!

Summer Bliss I

2011-06-12T19:50:00.001-07:00

It may not be officially summer yet, but with our upper 80’s and 90 degree weather, it sure feels like it!

I’m a summer girl for sure and have spent every moment possible outdoors. I am soaking it all up!

Fantastic Summer Meals.....

Spinning at the Park...

And look here, that’s a woodpecker home in the big branch there. Look closely and you see one of the woodpeckers. And yes! They have babies! They are still itty bitty I’m sure, but we can hear them chirping away....

I can't wait to see these little birdies start their new adventures. What adventures will you have this summer?

Summer Kick-Off!

2011-06-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

My previous post, I was super excited to get back to normal life again.... lol. Right.

I contemplated writing about the too fast and too furious roller coaster that began. From the slow creep up, up, up... to an inevitable and long emotional fall. A little jolt to the immune system, followed by a crazy loop of crazy fun and back down full speed ahead to a dead stop. Now, everything is still and I have time to breath, think and catch up. I know I’ll be forced to jump on that ride again sooner or later, but for now life is on my terms.

There are lots of things in store this summer! I already kicked off in May going to Yarn School in Harveyville, KS. It was so AWESOME!!! I met a lot of really cool gals that totally talk sheep. Not once did I get that glazed wtf-are-you-talking-about stare. It was about 30 of us ladies happily spinning, fondling fibers and playing with the sheep and chickens all weekend long.

It had been rainy and gloomy well into the Spring, so Vegas was on the agenda to get that much needed Vitamin D and to get a jump on the summer tan. We had a blast and I won! I don’t know how much really, I just know I went with little cash and never once had to go to the ATM! Vegas was good to me.

Once we got back and settled, we spent Memorial day weekend stirring up the earth and planting our garden. Varieties of Tomatoes, peppers, squash, beans, peas, broccoli, lettuce, onions, potatoes....you name it, we planted it! I so look forward to all our great veggie dinners again, and harvesting, roasting, jamming, sun drying and whatever else we can think of doing with our harvest.

So, what’s next?

I hope you too, have a wonderful summer planned!

Just the Norm

2011-03-08T05:01:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I took a Knife Skills Class. It was so much fun and I truly learned a lot of cool techniques. The menu consisted of Minestrone Soup to give us lots of practice cutting up different veggies and a chicken dish, which gave us the opportunity to bone a chicken.

With the dust settling and my life finally returning to what normalcy is..for my life..I indulged in having a long evening in the kitchen listening to my fav mix on pandora and making this super yummy minestrone soup. I was careful to use all the knife techniques I learned the weeks before as a refresher and good practice.

Now, this soup starts of the best way any soup could...render the fat off a half pound of bacon. Oh Yeah, come to mama!

While the fat was rendering a way, I was totally in my own little world becoming one with my knife. Chopping my onion, dicing my carrots, celery and zucchini...

...and look here, something I did want to show you. Something I never thought to do that makes an amazing difference. See that bubbly membrane stuff on the bell pepper?

When you carefully slice this off, you end up with only the goodness of the bell pepper. The sweet and juicy, wake your taste buds goodness. This was something I had never seen on the food shows I obsessively watch, or heard of from any other teachings, yet it makes a huge difference. I’m here to spread the word!

I added my veggies starting with onion and sauteed until soft, then the carrots and celery, lastly the zucchini, pepper and garlic. Oh, see the garlic? That’s another nifty trick I learned. Using kosher salt, you finely mince the garlic into a paste. I had tried this method before, but I truly just tried to squish the garlic. In class they showed a more graceful way to take little bits of garlic at a time and do this kind of sweeping motion with your knife to make it into the paste. This technique does test my patience, it’s kind of awkward and I end up getting a lot of garlic on the floor, but I keep telling myself “patience grasshopper, it will come”. So, we’ll see how long I continue to mince garlic this way.

While the veggies simmer into a sweet little pieces of heaven, I blanched the tomatoes to loosen the skins and got to work on those. Something else I really never did, skin tomatoes. Does it make a world of difference in flavor or texture? Not to me. Does it make me feel like an Iron Chef? Ok, maybe a little...

Ok, we are at the mid-point here and this middle has the best middle any soup could have. Wine!! 1 cup for the soup, the rest for me. In goes the wine and tomatoes

I reduced the wine to about half, then add in the beef stock and cup of water. I really wanted to go all out and make my own beef stock. I wanted to experience that rich and meaty flavor I only experienced in a real beef stock but store bought was quicker.

This simmers for about an hour and a half, then you add the orzo and Cannilli Beans and simmer for 30 minutes more. Meanwhile I prepared my pesto..errr...my Basil Infused Olive Oil (I forgot pine nuts) to drizzle on top of the soup when I was ready to serve.

And the finished product. A little basil oil, some salty Parmesan cheese and a slice of freshly baked (at the store) wheat french bread. What a perfect meal to start my what’s normal for me week!

When life throws you a curve, make Chicken and Dumplings.

2011-02-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

I finally ordered The Joy of Cooking. I’ve been told, if you even remotely consider yourself a cook, dare I say home chef, this is a must in the kitchen library.

I have my old recipe for chicken and dumplings which include boiling some chicken, adding some good veggies and herbs and depending on my mood making the dumplings from scratch or using good ol' Bisquick. Hey, don’t disrespect, that’s some good shit right there. I learned this method from my mom growing up when money was tight, and this was a comforting and filling meal. As I grew up and could afford my own ingredients, I gourmeted it up a bit adding fennel instead of celery and shallots instead of white onions and lots of fresh herbs. It wasn’t bad, and tonight I was craving some good old fashioned comfort. Out of habit, I started the chicken on the stove boiling and the book caught my eye. I flipped through and found a recipe for Chicken and Dumplings. So off I went, pulling the stock pot off the stove, draining the chicken and patting it dry to start over with The Joy of Cooking’s version of Chicken and Dumplings.

First step was to fry the chicken in butter, but I used Olive Oil that tastes like butter. I know...right! All natural, these are olives that taste just like butter! I feel it may be a healthier alternative, but honestly I really don’t know. This was just a good opportunity to use my 19.00 bottle of Olive oil. And yes, I know, things don’t brown as nicely in olive oil as they do butter, but I saw it as a great opportunity to use my new buttery Olive Oil.

See...not bad

Next step. cook onions in the juice of the chicken and that buttery olive oil...

Whisk in chicken broth, veggies and herbs, I added fennel. Now watch everything turn creamy and delicious....

Once boiling add chicken back with all it’s yummy juices and let cook just barely bubbling for 30 minutes...

meanwhile, make your dumplings...

Add dumplings and cook for another 10 minutes. I plated mine with a little swig of Fig Balsamic Vinegar...

Mmmm, the vinegar gave a tart and fruity surprise, like cranberry sauce with stuffing. If this is what I get when life throws a curve, I’ve hit it out of the park!

Beef Bourguignon

2010-12-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

In my effort to peak my culinary awareness and inspired by the book Julie & Julia, I embarked on the adventure of making, you guessed it, Beef Bourguignon!

After returning from my fav organic market, I set to work on prepping fresh, delicious ingredients.

After getting everything blanched, sauteed and fried it all went into the cast iron pot, swimming in a bottle of wine. Yum!

Three hours went buy, with every minute filling the house with an incredible aroma, making are belly's grumble in anticipation for this savory meal. I was afraid it would turn out as a glorified stew, but let me tell you, it did not. The first bite was heaven. The flavors were intense and much more sophisticated than what I would normally get out of a crock pot stew. The meat was fork tender and just melted in our mouths.

There are other versions of Beef Bourguignon that take less time. Julia’s takes about 6 hours, this includes a couple of prep sessions and cooking. I chose to make Julia’s dish because I needed the time in the kitchen. Time to re-focus and ease my mind of the cluttering, over-thinking and grinding it had been suffering this past month. It helped me remember to tackle my challenges, one step, and one ingredient at a time.

Not so Handmade Holiday-

2010-12-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve realized that I just don’t do shopping. Really I’m no good at it. It always starts off when I pull into the parking lot of the mall. I get that first surge of annoyance as I try to find a parking spot and I can feel the the transformation begin to take over and turn me into a ruthless, greedy bitch. I will cut people of for the better spot. Once I step foot in the mall my face begins to twist into an expression that reads “Don’t F with me and get out of my way”. I’ll bump into people, usually on purpose if they are wandering around as if they had no mission, because they have become an obstacle of mine, get in and get out.. I will obnoxiously huff and puff when the lines are too long, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Heaven forbid an off spring shall cross my path, the glare I will bestow up on them will give them nightmares for the rest of their lives.

Ah yes, here we are again, “The Holidays”.

For several years my gifts were handmade. It was all so perfect. I could show my love through taking the time to create for my loved ones. I would get my shopping done early for supplies. The stores that sell my supplies are generally not too busy and they are always “the happy place” for me.

This year, I decided I would just go and buy gifts. I don’t know why. At this point my family expects handmade. It has been a mistake. When I step into the mall, I get overwhelmed and turn into that unrecognizable creature and I lose track of why I was there at all. I had my chance this past weekend. I went to the mall with the kids so they could do some shopping. We went off in our separate directions since we generally don’t like to shop in the same stores. After standing in one line, I decided my sanity was more important and ended up here...

I was much happier. The margarita was marvelous and it was Happy Hour! What better way to spend a day of shopping!

So, I’m still empty handed. I’ve decided gift certificates will be the way to go, avoiding places that are in the mall. Next year I will not make the same mistake. It will be a Hand-made Holiday.

New! New! New!

2010-12-05T15:58:00.001-08:00

While it has been be quiet over here, I have been working like a little elf.

Remember those flowers...

All My fibers....

And just for fun, bead mixes...

All updated in my shop, Love!

Next week will be a flurry of Christmas activities, shopping, baking, and decorating.

Happy Holidays!

Summer Times Past

2010-11-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

The warm weather has been hanging on with no snow in sight. We usually have some snow flakes by now, but this year we have just seen sunshine.

I’m kind of sad we harvested the garden already, I took a walk through it today and it’s like a garden graveyard.

We have been reaping the benefits of all our harvesting efforts. We topped plain frozen pizza with our garden delights. See the sun-dried tomatoes, peppers and basil?

The wind picked up, filling the sky with leaves.

Perhaps a sign Mr. Frost is waking?

Gettin Crafty

2010-10-31T17:29:00.001-07:00

With the garden all harvested, everything canned, jellied, jammed, and frozen I turned my attention to long awaited crafty projects.

I’m doing my first color work knitting project. Argyle socks from Knit.1 magazine Fall 2007 issue. I’ve only had to start over once, so far, to switch to a smaller needle than what the pattern calls for. I’m much happier with the results.

Early this summer I bought a TON of organza and silk fabric. My mission was to make cute little flowers for my Etsy store. These flowers are adorable and can be used in spinning projects, or sewn into knitting projects. I also have some jewelry designs in mind. I’m waiting for my shipment of center beads to come in to finish these but plan to post them to my store next weekend.

I have these wonderful bead mixes that I also will be offering in my store in the up coming weeks. They are so much fun! My first project will be spinning them in with some fiber that I carded this weekend. Hand carded that is, I do not yet have a drum carder. I’m just so confused about the whole thing, so I will happily hand card until I can figure it out. This mix includes my first eva fleece I processed, Rambouillet, it also includes some Tussah silk, and commercial Merino. I took some sections of my batts and strung on some beads. I want to experiment with doing the pre-strung method as well as adding them in as I spin.

It's back to the sock now. I hope you too have had a crafty Halloween. :)

I heart Alton Brown

2010-10-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

Alton Brown has never failed me. I have made his fool proof very moist meat loaf, followed his tip on soaking potatoes in smoked sea salt for the most scrumptious mashed potatoes and his turkey, OMG, brining it in all kinds of yummy aromatics made me look like a star at last years Thanksgiving feast!

Once again, he has won my heart through my stomach. Tamales. I’ve always wanted to make Tamales and I was happy to find that Alton had a recipe. So I set off to the store for some pork butt, husks and cornmeal, along with a few spices I did not already have in the pantry.

Tamales are actually pretty easy to make. We started off by simmering the Pork Butt in a pot of water and spices for 2 hours. While that was going we soaked the husks. Once the meat was done, we took it out to cool. While cooling we prepared the cornmeal dough. We shredded the meat and added it to the sautéed veggies and more spices. The spices included chili powder, cumin and smoked paprika to name a few and it made the house smell incredible! It was so hard to resist taking little taste tests of the meat because it was soo tender and yummy!

We turned on some good music, set up our work station and off we went to assemble these sinful delectables. With good company, good music and good wine, we had assembled about 3 dozen of Tamales in no time. Now, it was time to wait, mouths-watering while the Tamales simmered for an hour and a half teasing us as they filled the house with their heavenly aroma.

As soon as it was time, we dove right in and enjoyed each Tamale until we were satisfied. Oh, did I mention we also went on a stuffed pepper mission too?

So what if it was 1 am. It was well worth the heartburn later

Green Tomatoes and Chocolate Cake

2010-10-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

The weather has been unusually warm this Indian Summer. Each week we see a few more red tomatoes and I've been doing what has become routine of harvesting and drying the tomatoes in the oven or freezing them whole for later use in sauces. We still have several green tomatoes and I didn't want any to go to waste. I searched the internet for recipes using Green Tomatoes. I came across recipes for Green Tomato Jam and settled on a couple for my weekend project. Last night we finished the first batch of jam from this recipe.

Fresh picked Green Tomatoes...

This was the first time we have made jam and ended up cooking it a bit too long, but it is still very scrumptious. The Vanilla adds awesome flavor and for some heat we threw in a Habanero.
yum...

The second recipe is a 3 day process and includes cinnamon and all spice. We started step one last night, and will continue today and tomorrow.

A few weeks ago I filled my basket with Fennel from the garden.

I took flowering heads that had not yet blossomed put them in a paperback and stowed away in a closet. Last night I remembered they were there and probably ready to be seeded. This was an easy and relaxing task we did while chatting and listening to music. We ended up with half a jar of fennel seeds to be used in chicken and dumplings later...my fav.

After another weekend of harvesting and preparing for winter I made a chocolate cake...Just because

Seed Bead Stitch Markers

2010-10-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

In one of my Rav groups we got to talking about seed bead stitch markers and the various methods to make them. This is my method, enjoy! :)

Supplies:

* Size 15 or 11 Seed beads: Size depends on the size you want your markers. Size 15 are very tiny beads and will help produce a very tiny marker. I usually use size 11 for bigger markers.
* 2 mm Crimp Beads
* Beadalon or Softflex: I use Beadalon since I can easily find it in at my local craft store, Softflex usually has to be ordered or purchased at your LBS.
* Optional: 4mm focal bead or charms. Note: Charms usually come with a little ring (jump ring) to hang from a chain, usually these are too big. I recommend getting 2mm jump rings instead.
* For bead charms you will need 1 1/2” - 2” headpins depending on the size of your beads.

Tools:

* Crimping Pliers or Jewelry Flat Nose Pliers

* For Bead Charms you will also need Jewelry round nose pliers.

Instructions:

1. Make any bead charms you will use for your markers
2. Cut a piece of bead wire about 3” long. You can adjust this length as desired.
3. String your design of beads onto wire. You can do all beads for dangle free markers, or add a charm in the middle.
4. String on crimp bead on one end. Take the opposite end of the bead wire and string it through the opposite end of the crimp bead. Your wires will cross as illustrated below: (amount of beads strung are for illustration purposes only, you will need more)

5. While pulling both wires snug either crimp the crimp bead or squeeze it tightly with your flat nose pliers to secure the wire and crimp bead in place.
6. Enjoy!

Indian Summer

2010-10-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

This weekend was full of more harvesting activities. We turned these....

Into this...

Driving through town the aroma of roasted hatch chili's filled the air. I couldn't resist, I got two bushels. While waiting for the chili's to roast I chatted with the owner, an older gentleman in a cowboy hat and welcoming grin. We talked about the chili's, family and this years harvest. His little Chihuahua comfortably perched in his arms, looking at me through his good eye. The man explained that it took this little guy a long journey to find him and now they are life partners.

I finished my scarf. The colors remind me of all the veggies we have been roasting and canning and pickling these past few weekends. The scarf was knit up on jumbo 35 needles and I used about 2.5 balls of this cool yarn. I have enough left to make cozy hat.

After a nice day of harvesting, pickling and knitting, we kicked our feet up and enjoyed an Autumn evening sitting by the fire. I heart Autumn. :)

Beginning Harvest

2010-09-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the beginning of our Harvesting activities. We have so many beautiful tomatoes of different types, shapes and sizes. It was quite overwhelming to try to pick them all, but I picked what I could of the little guys to make a nice batch of sun-dried tomatoes. I sliced them in half and arranged them on a couple of cookie sheets. I added some garlic cloves and sprinkled with fresh thyme and oregano from the herb garden and a little salt and pepper. I tucked them away in the oven for their 5 hour transformation. From start to finish the house smelled SO GOOD! At first it was the smell of fresh tomatoes and herbs, then it turned into a more sweet fruity aroma. These little guys are just like candy...

While the tomatoes were drying in the oven I moved on to the peppers. We didn’t have as many ripe peppers as I had anticipated but there were plenty to roast on the grill and freeze for some nice spicy chilis and soups this winter. Between walking outside and inside it was olfactory heaven!

While the tomatoes where drying and the chilis were roasting, I was knitting. I started this scarf. I love these big needles and chunky yarn. I can whip up some super cozy scarves in no time!

I also continued to process fleece. This time it is my new Dorset. It is soft and lofty and it feels like it’s going to be a breeze to spin. My Rambiolette fleece has been a bit of a challenge to spin. It is super springy and fine. I think I may do a mix with Dorset and Ramb, I may like that better.

Summer 2010

2010-09-16T21:03:00.001-07:00

This summer has been a nice, non-hectic, peaceful summer. It has been full of culinary delights, good reads and an introduction to a new passion.

The Garden has been slow growing, actually we saw a good start of peppers, tomatoes and squash, it just took awhile for things to ripen the way they did last summer. Last summer we had so many veggies ready to go all at once it was overwhelming. This year we had just enough and just at the right time.

No long vacations or big rode trips this summer, but that was ok. Plenty of basking in the sunshine, enjoying summer cocktails and new books. Ok, American Psycho is not really what anyone would consider a relaxing summer read, but I can say it was intellectually stimulating with a lot of room for interpretation and 3 a.m. discussion under the stars.

I went on my first real backpacking trip to Conundrum Springs. On the way up, we frolicked in the meadows, rested at river banks, joked and laughed. The scenery was enchanting and I felt like I was on a true adventure heading for a magical destination. I think I even saw a gnome or two. In my ignorant bliss, little did I know my fairytale would soon become an action packed Indiana Jones movie as we leaped across logs, fell in rivers, backtracked after a lost dog, and climb our way up the last 4 miles to finally arrive, limping, tired and hungry. The poor dogs were even limping in. It was all well worth it as we spent the entire next day soaking in the natural hot springs, au naturale.

I picked up a new obsession with fiber. I have pounds and pounds of wool sitting around my house waiting to be cleaned, combed, spun, knitted and loved. I have even converted one of the rooms in my house to be my “Fiber Room”. I also have a “Studio” for silversmith work and a “Sewing Loft”. There is a good side to having a big house all to myself! Seriously, I may end up on hoarders... if you can find me in my mountains of wool.

What a great Summer.

Saturday

2010-07-19T10:06:00.001-07:00

Wow, it has been sometime since my last post. I guess I do not post much since I know I don’t have a following, lol. I go through times where I just need to express how I’m feeling and this is the outlet I enjoy using, so I post when the urge strikes and life is not throwing around curve balls left and right.

It’s that time of year again where the garden is generously producing fruits and veggies. There is nothing more tastier than preparing meals from the garden. The freshness is unbeatable and the pride that comes from watching seedlings sprout from the earth and those sprouts turn into nourishing plants makes it that much sweeter.

Saturday evening was a great night of culinary creativity. I gathered some arugula, basil, mint, fennel, eggplant and shallots. I tossed the fennel, eggplant and shallots in olive oil with a little salt and pepper and roasted on the grill. I tore the arugula leaves and cut the basil and mint, Chiffonade style. Tossed in a salad bowl. When the roasted veggies were done, I threw some pine nuts on the same pan and toasted. The smell was incredible. I tossed the roasted veggies, greens, pine nuts and added some goat cheese. Amazing! The first bite was soo good, but I felt it was missing a sweet component and after taking a sip of Shiraz wine, it rounded off the meal very nicely. We did have steak as well, but the salad definitely took the spotlight.

The colors of the salad were so earthy and rich. Earlier that day, I had blended some wool in greens, deep purple, soft yellow and some brown sparkle. I spun it up into a little skein and I am so happy with the result. Maybe this sparked my culinary creativity that night? Although, the garden was my muse when I chose the fibers. Speaking of which, I have not talked about my new addiction have I? Let’s just say I’ve been on a major creative high.

Life is good.

Lost Time

2010-01-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

I walk into her house and into the familiar smell which is a conglomerate of jasmine rice, incense and her. A familiar smell since I was a child. Her temple has the usual offerings of fruit, rice and sake. I can remember her kneeling there praying. I always knew this was quite time for her and I would just sit there and watch her as she chanted in Japanese and swayed back and forth with her prayer beads between her hands.

I pass by the Geisha dolls in the glass cases and the fragile Japanese teapots and cups. I was such a mischievous child, I can remember many times getting into trouble touching her teapots, but I never did touch the Geisha dolls. I would just stare at them for what seemed like hours admiring the intricacy of the painted faces and the costumes.

There she is, pacing around the kitchen, mumbling Japanese something or other. Graaandmaaa! I say in my most cheerful, do not scare her because she can’t hear voice. She looks up and her whole face lights up. Ooooh, I surpised! I don’t know you come! She cackles and welcomes me with a hug. You eat? Sit! I fix you rice. I move the pile of newspapers over and sit down at her Lucite table. A table today that is called “Vintage” and would have a nice “vintage” price.

After her determined attempt to stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey, she finally sits down and we chat. We chat about family, life the future. In her broken English she keeps telling me she is going to go ka poot soon, ka poot! And lets out that cackling laugh. I laugh with her, but deep down I know she is right and deep down I am not laughing. I want to believe she is going to be around for at least 10 more years, but I’m not so sure anymore. Hear health is a little rocky right now and her memory is going. I know she knew who I was even though she had to ask me what my name is. I knew it was hard for her to ask me, but it was just my name.

I’ve spent the last year doing my own thing. Since I was 17 my life has been devoted to being a mother, wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister. I approached a point in my life where the path I decided to take was my own. I don’t want to regret this but I may have missed the last year a person so dear to me was completely there to hear me say I love you and I think about you everyday.

I’ve lost my chance to just knit with her, her hands don’t work so great anymore. I’ve lost my chance to go to her place of worship, it’s far away and she doesn’t like to go out these days. I’ve lost my chance to learn some of her greatest recipes, she still cooks, but it does tire her out quickly now.

I still have time to really hear her stories and record them. I still have time to visit and take care of her so she does not feel so alone. I still have time to understand her culture so maybe I can carry on some of her traditions. I still have time tell her, I love you and I think about you everyday.

91 Days of Summer

2009-10-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

When the first few snowflakes made their way down announcing that summer was officially over, I had already felt the longing for warm sunshine, cocktails on the patio, generous gardens and motorcycle rides through the mountains. As I picked the last few peppers from our now harvest garden, I reflected on the adventures and accomplishments that had unfolded in the 91 days of summer.

In 91 days of summer I went to Santa Fe with my mother and daughter. We enjoyed art, food and more importantly made time to be together.

In 91 days of summer I traveled an average of 100 miles each weekend through the mountains on my motorcycle getting to know her and preparing myself for the big adventure.

In 91 days of summer I helped plant a garden and watched it give and nourish wanting nothing in return but water and sunshine.

In 91 days of summer some relationships flourished and grew into something more, something cherished.

In 91 days of summer some relationships weakened and my heart ached.

In 91 days of summer I found my Derby family.

In 91 days of summer I saw 2200 miles of road pass beneath my feet. I felt 2200 miles of wind against my body. I smelled 2200 miles of nature, city and dessert. For 2200 miles I heard my engine hum and my heart speak.

The snowflakes continue to dance down from the sky in a soft chilly breeze, whispering promises of warm nights snuggling with loved ones, the aroma of stews, casseroles and baked goodies, yards and yards of soft wool running through my fingers and the soft clicking of my knitting needles.

Santa Fe 2009

2009-08-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I took my daughter and mother to Santa Fe and it was a blast! Santa Fe is such a beautiful city with so much history, culture, beautiful landscapes and of course, shopping.

We arrived around lunch time and headed to the Plaza. This is the place that is full of all the expensive quaint shops and there is an area where the Indians sit on blankets and sell their work. While I was expecting more Indians with more variety I was happy to walk away with some nice gifts even though similar items were being sold for a few bucks less just a few Indians down.

After burning a good amount of calories shopping, we stopped to eat at The Shed. This is a restaurant that has many good reviews so we were not surprised that there was a wait and it gave us an opportunity to take advantage of the perfect weather and enjoy some Margaritas on the patio. Thirty minutes later, tummies growling and Margaritas going straight to our heads, we were happy when our little pager buzzed informing us that it was chow time.

After sitting and waiting to be served for at least 10 minutes, we had to flag down a waitress to inquire when we could order our food. Such a question should not be asked in a restaurant! That was the attitude we endured during the course of our meal. The service was horrible. For what they lacked in service, the food did not get any better. Taking as many Chili powders to cover up the bad pork is not my idea of a meal. Oh, and Chipotle called, they want the recipe for what they call Pozolé back.

Our second day we drove to Albuquerque to explore more shopping opportunities. The plan was to have breakfast at a place we read about in our tourist book. After driving for about 30 minutes trying to find it, I spotted a dive and swung into the parking lot causing skeptical glances between my mother and daughter. They were afraid, very afraid. If a restaurant is anything short of a franchise or tourist fly trap they are not game. Since I was driving, they had no choice. This was the best place we had eaten all through our entire trip. The service was above and beyond excellent. I always say, if it’s a dish that I can’t make without a lot of effort, then it was well worth the money. A heavenly, culinary experience!

Yum!

We spent the day enjoying the eclectic selection of goods at the flea market and the inspiring works from local artists at the Art Show. We left Albuquerque inspired and satisfied.

After a long day frolicking in the Albuquerque sun, what better way to relax at the end of the day than going to 10,000 Waves Spa nestled in the Santa Fe Mountians. The theme for this spa is Japanese bath house. When you arrive your senses are immediately stimulated. The sight of beautiful lanterns leading the way to the bath house. The smell of pine and citrus when you walk in. The taste of fresh cucumbers and oranges in ice cold water. There was a wait before we could enter the bath, but it didn’t mean we were less pampered.

Once it was our turn to enter the bath they instructed us to shower first. The showers are supplied with 10,000 Waves line of products that are absolutely delectable. After the shower you put on a plush robe and flip flops and make your way to your bath and sauna. Since this spa is clothing optional, we chose the women’s only bath. Figured if it’s not camping, we didn’t need the wieners. The nice thing about it is they only allowed about 8 women in at a time so it was not too many boobs and butts crowding the bath. Advice ladies, when you are talking about feet at a nude spa, it’s not a good idea to show other ladies your toe while showing us how flexible you are when you are in the nude. This maneuver provides too much information about you.

The last day, I took mom back down to the plaza so she could get some of her last minute shopping in. We also stopped by Trader Joes, which I totally LOVE and I picked up 16 bottles of wine, 13 being the infamous 2 Buck Chuck.

All in all it was a great trip. I came back rested and inspired. I’ve already completed one Santa Fe inspired project. And even though some people say I smell like camping, I love the spa lotion I got and I wear it everyday.

Jen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

2009-08-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

The first lesson I learned when doing any kind of vehicle maintenance was the necessity of Beer. Mind you, I’ve never really done any kind of vehicle maintenance so I was a bit skeptical about pouring myself a tall cold one before working on a machine with a lot of moving parts I had no knowledge of. I also never turn down a beer.

Beer poured.

In anticipation of the possibility that we may do a gunshot trip to Sturgis for the weekend we quickly gathered up the oil, filter and tools needed to change the oil in my bike since it was really long over due. I opened my big bike manual to the section on how to change the oil.

1.Level the bike – plywood – Check.
2.Remove dipstick thingy – Check
3.Find oil plug on underside of crankcase? – oook, Check
4.Don’t forget to put oil pan under before removing – check
5.Carefully unscrew plug and remove without letting it oil all over you – ooook
6.Let Drain
7.Refill beer.
8.Remove Oil Filter
9.Find right tool to remove oil filter since tool in hand does not seem to fit.
10.Stare at filter and tools and wonder WTF?
11.Shrug off the need to change the filter, promise to change when I get back from Sturgis.
12.Learning from observing others change their oil, feel proud to remember to put oil plug back on securely before the next step.
13.Carefully begin to pour the oil in the crankcase? struggling with a very awkward position due to airbox cover.
14.Remove airbox cover to make oil pouring much easier.
15.Panic when fuel and oil spill out when airbox cover is removed.
16.Stare at the mess and wonder WTF?
17.Smell my hands and wonder how guys can stomach this on a daily basis.
18.Realize Sturgis is not going to happen.
19.Refill Beer a couple more times understanding why this was the first and most valuable lesson.

We ended up getting everything fixed up the following day and going out for a great evening ride. Before the weekend was over we put in a good 160 miles through the mountains and in town. It was disappointing that Sturgis didn’t happen but at least we had beer.

Trust Me

2009-06-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

It was kind of intimidating, being with her for the first time. I knew she had so much experience and had been with the experienced. What would I be compared to them? I was unsure if this was something I really wanted to do and I didn’t want to damage her by my ignorance to this new world.

I admire her beauty and the liberal ambiance she would bring to her environment. She was free and I want to be free, but I am afraid.

I agree with myself to take this slow. It’s ok to take my time for once. This is not something in which I will close my eyes, take the leap and hope for the best. This is a life changing experience.

I began by tracing the outline of her body with my finger tips getting to know every scratch, bump and curve, understanding who she is. Slowly I climbed on, rocking her back and forth, back and forth, feeling our weight working together.

Once she was turned on, I knew she was ready to go. She moaned and I could feel her warmth beneath me bringing butterflies up my stomach and racing through my heart. I knew this was it.

I gently rolled her throttle, let off the break, and picked up my feet.

2009-06-10T14:24:00.001-07:00

Dear DMV Ass,

I think you need to be aware that your business hours are 7:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. I assume that if I walk in at 5:26 p.m. it is ok because your doors are still open for business.

Apparently you do not feel this way. You made it obvious by the sarcasm, lack of eye contact and persistent huffing with every task you had to do in order to serve me, your customer.

Now, I know, being a government employee putting in 10 minutes of overtime for someone who does pay your salary is an absolute inconvenience. If it makes you feel any better, I had the great experience of burning my lunch HOUR making numerous phone calls, being put on hold, going in circles just to end up back to you, the asshole who fucked up and gave me the wrong title. I had to leave work early, once again in order to get your fuck up straightened out. You won.

Defeated,

Jen
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Dear Lame Ass Bank,

I should blame myself for choosing a bank that resides in Wal-mart. Need I say more?

Regretfully,

Jen

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Dear Jamba Juice,

Not only do you make a mean blend, you’re also hot. Thank you for making my day.

Heart,

Jen

Three Months Later

2009-05-13T22:41:00.001-07:00

It’s interesting the time I feel the need to write. I think about writing everyday, but I just don’t get to it. So now, 30 minutes to midnight I choose to write. I want to get up early tomorrow and get going, but I won’t. The Barefoot Chardonnay, conversations with my best friend, reminiscing as I go through my things to pack will keep me up and keep me sleeping when it is time to wake up.

This past month has been quite an experience. I was challenged emotionally, physically, and mentally.

I started my exercise program 8 weeks ago, 4 days a week. Partially because I want to get in shape, partially because I am bored at work and it is acceptable to take 30 minutes for a health break with my current employer. I have realized at 34 having my first baby at 16 I never had, and never will have the body of an 18 year old. I have REALIZED, not ACCEPTED. I’m still working out and I am optimistic.

Participated in a motorcycle workshop this month. One weekend of riding a 250 Rebel qualified me to have an “M” endorsement on my license. This means I am licensed to legally ride all streets, highways and interstates of beautiful Colorado on a motorcycle. LEGAL not SAFE. If you see a petite brunette on a 750 Shadow Aero in your rearview mirror, please GET OUT OF THE WAY. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m doing it and having a hellaofatime! Booya.

You can relax this weekend though, I’ll be in Vegas with the girls.

Etsy rocks. 4 sales the night before I leave town.

Awesome.

2009 Vacation I

2009-02-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

I’m naired, plucked, exfoliated, moisturized, conditioned, masked, painted, whitened, highlighted and packed.

Aaah yes, the preparation for vacation.

I sit here, waiting for my polish “flirt” to dry. Flirt is a very dark purple, almost black. My night does not end when this paint is dry. No. Next, I will Q-tip the mess I made outside the lines. I ponder if the amount I saved on a manicure/pedicure was worth my time and effort to paint my own nails with this dark polish, I LOVE, yet cannot stay within the lines of my cuticles for the life of me! O’well, what is done, is done. I can’t turn back now. Lesson learned.

Do the boys realize what we ladies go through? Honestly! I wonder if he would even care if I showed up natural nails, dry skin and in the same dress he has seen me in time and time again. All this effort! Does he even notice? Does he notice my brows are slightly more arched than usual? My skin is down to its first layer? That my hair has a few more facets in the sunlight?

Perhaps what he may notice is my radiance when I first step off the plane. The glow that comes from missing.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

Based on our telephone conversation this evening(huba-huba) I believe this to be true.

Home Sweet Home

2009-01-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

I met with a Real Estate agent over the weekend to discuss my options for selling my house. It’s looking glum to sale now, but at least I have some direction on how to achieve the goal of making my house marketable.

Among some of the big things I have to do, replace the carpet, repair the roof, paint the trim, I also have to decorate and make my house look welcoming. I get this. I haven’t done much since my divorce because I have felt I would not be here long. Everything is temporary when given enough time, right? Perhaps I’m a little jaded as this has been my life. I don’t say this in a woe is me kind of way, just a realistic point of view based on my experiences. Decorating for a temporary circumstance leaves much else to be desired.

This is not my rant.

I’m somewhat excited to decorate now. Now that I have resigned to the fact that I will be here for another year or so I want to embrace this opportunity to make my house a home. The thing that bothers me is the statement I heard over and over from the agent. “Make it look neutral.” She was not implying that the color or style be neutral. No. She was telling me that I need decorate in a way such that it appears my house portrays a lifestyle that is so not of my own.

I need to paint a picture of a happy family living in this cozy house. That the young roommate I have living in the basement is an older son going to college. Take down those Audrey Hepburn pictures that adorn the walls and the beads and yarn that occupy my room because what husband would agree to a love nest master bedroom full of Audrey and crafty shit?

I’m not upset with my agent for making these suggestions. She knows what sells. She is a very good agent. I’m a bit pissed off that I have to portray this other lifestyle because my current lifestyle is not sufficient enough to sale my fucking house? I’m a single female with a successful career and a lot of funky ass style. I’m divorced and have the freedom to WTF I want. So, now to sell my house I need to pretend to be married and decorate the way I feel a man would see fit.

Ah hem, I don’t think so. This is MY home biatch.

The Arrival

2009-01-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would ride up on the back of a bike into Sturgis with other fellow “bikers”. I know I was a passenger, but what do you have to do to be considered a true biker? Do you own a Harley? Do you wear leather and do rags all the time? Do you always go to biker bars?

I tried to pass it off, like this was my way of life. I’m relaxed and confident on the back of a bike and I look damn sexy, yes sir, you may feast your eyes and enjoy. I think my eyes, wide with curiosity and fascination probably gave me away. I am not a professional biker passenger person. This was a whole new experience for me.

We rode in through Black Hills Forest. The scenery was just breath taking. This is terrible, but I didn’t always wear my helmet while in Sturgis. Most of the time we were going pretty slow and I know, I know this is not an excuse, but I just wanted to feel the wind in my hair, the sun warm the back of my neck and to just, breath.

Once we got into the town of Sturgis there were Bikers as far as the eye can see. Harley Bikers, Corporate Bikers, Biker passengers taking pictures and even reading books. How can you read a book with all this going on around you? How cool would it be to have a bike of my own and to ride off in pointy high heeled shoes like her? Look at that guy with all his animal skins and bones embellishing him and his bike! Whoa, lots and lots of boobies. And you can read a book? Crazy!

We finally made it through the mob of bikers and made it to grandma’s house. She is not my grandma, she is our friends grandma, but that is what we called her while we where there. Both her and her husband were so generous to open their home to us knowing we were going to be getting trashed and possibly naked, after all, it is Sturgis. They were use to this however, up until recently they had rented their backyard out to anyone who wanted to set up camp. I also think grandpa enjoyed the company and the life we brought to their home. I wondered if he reminisced about his younger days while he sat their, quiet in his chair just taking it all in.

It felt good to take a quick shower and wash away all the dust and exhaust. I applied my makeup, fluffed my hair and anticipated what the night would bring, here in Sturgis.

Lots and lots of Bikes:

Mount Rushmore...

Town of Sturgis...

That is a Cubs shirt, in case no one noticed.

To be continued….

Done!

2008-12-29T21:26:00.000-08:00

I had a really great Christmas this year! Most of my knitting projects were completed and wrapped with care. The one I did not finish, I started on Christmas eve to have completed by Christmas day. I would have succeeded except I ran out of yarn. I just didn’t think this hat would take up 3 skeins!

Now that Christmas is done I have started 3 wrap/scarf projects. I ran down to Michaels and picked up a pair of size 35 needles. Imagine my fascination when I saw how big they are!!

You all went there, didn’t you?

Anyway, I pulled out some Brown Sheep and some novelty yarn and starting knitting away. I’m using Garnet Brown Sheep and some orangey novelty. I ran out of yarn for this one, so I placed an order online for some new yarn. The next day I went to the yarn store and found the White wool I needed to mix with some novelty yarn I already have and I found another cool wool/novelty yarn mix that I am also throwing in some Kid Mohair. Can you say addicted? It’s just nice to see how quickly these knit up and how impressive they look. As soon as I finish them I will post pics for the world to see! I like that I can have a simple, no brainer to do in an evening and it doesn’t expect breakfast in the morning!

Cheers!

Knit Chat

2008-12-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

I know I have not been blogging a lot, nor have I blogged about knitting in a while. This doesn't mean I have not been knitting, I have been knitting a lot. In fact, I even started a knitting group with a few ladies and I am recruiting more.

I got my Swap-Bot partner for my first swap, eva! I *heart* swap-bot, I'm so glad I found you and I can't wait to start mailing goodies to people I don't even know.

Of course I started my Christmas knitting late and I'm scrambling trying to get my projects done. I was pleased when I found this pattern as I thought it would bring a different look and feel to your normal wrist warmer and offer a light and feminine style. Little did I know, until I bought the Rowan Kid Mohair at $14 a pop that this project not only brought style but it also brought a lot of frustration and four letter words that you just don't say around Christmas time. I also realized that the fragile state of this yarn made it a very unpractical wrist warmer, especially since when I put the damn thing on the yarn snapped causing me to snap, flinging the wrist warmer off the needles (mohair is very slippery on skacels) . The partially done wrist warmer will now rot in hell like the devil project it is behind the TV.

After my little wrist warmer mishap, I happily headed out to my LYS to select a more user friendly mohair. I was very excited when I found Berraco Jasper 100% Merino Wool. It's soft and comes in a beautiful array of colors. The pattern I have chosen comes out of Weekend Knitting. I sat down with my happy yarn, and happy needles and I was just so happy as I gingerly knitted away completing my first warmer within 3 hours. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!! Looks like I will not need to give away IOU Insert knitted project gift here Cards again. Jooooy!!

Lusk

2008-12-02T19:17:00.001-08:00

The snow is finally falling. It’s been an unusually warm November and it has made me kind of frustrated. With each warm day it just reminds me of the great summer past.

Out of all the great adventures this summer, I would have to say the most memorable adventure was Sturgis. The journey there, the time there, the journey back.

We packed our gear into our friends Mercedes Benz SUV. Why is Mercedes Benz SUV relevant? Well, in above 90 degree weather, in stand still traffic on I-25, I just couldn’t get motivated to ride on the back of the bike over the brand new plush leather interior and climate controlled luxury that was this vehicle. Plus, I had Circus Peanuts to munch on.

We got to Wyoming and that is about the time I climbed on the back of the bike. While this is a good size bike, it’s not really set up for traveling partners. Not even a Sissy bar.

We rode for a good amount of time and we ended up in a small town called Lusk, WY. We rode through the town barely passing it by before we decided to turn around and call it a night. The sparkling cool water of the hotel pools and the thought a nice cold beer was just to tempting to keep riding. We found our hotel, checked in, then hit the 2 bar town.

I swear, I felt like I should have been in a town that would have been in "No Country for Old Men". The bar we walked into was dark and dingy. The people there looked worn, not that this is a bad thing, but you know, they looked tired and drunk. Fly swatters were placed at various tables and I jumped a little at the SWAT that was one of the fly’s demise. Even though we got some stank eyes walking in, the bartender acted as if we didn’t exist. We finally got our beers and chili dogs, which I’m pretty sure had fly guts in it and began to relax.

By the end of the night I had an Australian man drink beer from my very, very worn flip flop, learned a few moves from some strippers and enjoyed a midnight dip in the pool.

What is a Restaurant Package??

Few beers later...

The next morning, I climbed on the back of the bike anxious for what awaited us in our destination.

To be continued…

Us 3

2008-11-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

I have these two girlfriends, they are my bestest friends eva! It seems when we get together, for some reason we run into some kind of what some folks would call “trouble”. We are never home when we promise, this tends to get us in a little trouble. We may end up having a tad too much wine, this tends to get us in a little trouble. We are known to throw mini fits when our time together is compromised, this tends to get us in a little trouble.

It would only happen to us, we would get stuck in a glass elevator with 5 cheesecakes. At first we panicked when the elevator was no longer going up or down and just sitting halfway. Once we realized we had the cheesecake… well, we were stuck, and hungry and together. There was still plenty of cheesecake left for the party once we were rescued.

It would only happen to us, in a “ladies only” club I would flash my cooch to an innocent passer-by. Apparently he thought I was inviting him in. Luckily the bodyguard told him he was barking up the wrong tree as we are not interested in “his kind”. It was totally innocent. We had purchased matching anklets and I was putting mine on. I was wearing a mini skirt and didn’t want to flash everyone in the bar so I turned toward the NOT tinted window. I totally thought it as tinted. Oops.

A good amount of time had passed since all three of us had gotten together. We have been busy with our careers, family and life. We finally got our schedules coordinated and met up at our favorite Sushi joint. This place has some delicious unique rolls. One in particular doesn’t even look like sushi. It has tomatoes, basil and capers on top drizzled in olive oil. Very tasty. We are enjoying the roll when a man walks by and asked us what we had ordered. Being our friendly outgoing selves we told him what is was and offered him a bite.

This man happen to be a millionaire named Vinny from Jersey. He was a very nice older man with some pretty interesting stories. By the end of the night we were drinking Dom Perignon, sampling other dishes and ordering the good Sake, all expenses paid. I would have never thought offering a bite to a stranger would create such a memorable night.

This would only happen to us.

Stolen Format, get over it.

2008-11-18T21:23:00.000-08:00

What is she looking for?

A start.

I bet she found more than that!

She did.

She hasn’t been in there in like forever!

I know, right! I think she just figured out why.

Lots of memories, LOTS of memories.

Yeah. She’s looking at the bottle wine now, contemplating.

Think this will delay her start?

Hmm. I don’t think so. Not this time. Now she knows.

I don’t know. That place holds a lot of her past some good, most bad.

I don’t think she see’s it that way any longer. She’s ready to move on for good this time.

Good time to open that bottle of wine.

True dat, true dat.

Summer

2008-08-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

It’s been awhile, hello again.

A lot has gone on, but every time I thought it was important to blog about it and share the experiences, I was experiencing more so I didn’t have the time.

I got the boob job and I love my boobies. I went to Sturgis and showed them off, tastefully, no flashing. That was not the highlight of Sturgis. South Dakota is a beautiful state. I would post pictures, but I’m busy at the moment.

I have not become a pool champion, nor have I knit one charity project per month. While my New Year Goals are not being met, I have lived a memorable summer and have achieved some personal goals, you know those inner ones that you don’t really share with anyone.

I want to share more, but I have things to do.

Hope you all are having a great summer.

J

Lessons Learned

2008-05-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

I learned something very valuable the other night. It’s something that seemed so simple but ended up in such a disaster that I feel it is my duty to share my experience such that no one else will have to endure the same torture I did. Ok, here it goes—

Do not under ANY circumstances drink Chardonnay and decide to Brazilian Wax yourself.

In addition, do not under ANY circumstances fail at Brazilian Waxing yourself and then Nair immediately after. NOT a good idea. NO, NOT a good idea at all. It may seem like a good idea, thanks to the Chardonnay, but I would advise that you either get it professionally done, or just don’t do it, or just do ONE of those things, but not both. Drink Chardonnay afterwards.

Lesson #2. This one, not as bad, but could have potentially been just as much of a disaster. Ok, here it goes—

Bouncing, Gravity and Sweat are no friends of silicone breasts. Use EXTREME caution when giving the ladies a test drive, they are not yet attached to your body and can easily slip right out of your bra while dancing to Get Low, forcing YOU to go much lower than you had planned as you stop those slippery suckers before THEY hit the flo! Luckily I caught the twins when they made it to my belly and was able to gracefully shove them back into my bra without anyone noticing. Phew!

You have been warned.

The Boob Job Diaries: 1-2

2008-05-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

Oh shit! Oh God! This is not good. Ok, calm down get out of the skid, how do I do that? Nope, that made it worse. My kids, My car, My BOOBS!

These are the thoughts that crossed my mind as I contemplated if I was going to come out of the current circumstance dead or alive. My car is out of control and I can see that at my speed of 70 mph I am going to hit the guard rail head on. Luckily I managed to crank my wheel sending my car into a spin, bouncing my back end off the guard rail such that when I open my eyes I see that I’m facing interstate traffic head on. It was very early in the morning and thank gawd there really wasn't any traffic. I slowly straightened myself out and pulled over to the nearest ramp to examine the potential damage. I was shaken up but I survived, my car survived and life went on. No damn way I would cancel my consultation today.

I wait patiently in the sterile yet comfy room. The doc comes in and he is GORGEOUS! Go figure, right ladies? Doesn’t he know women that desire nicer breasts usually don’t start off with nice breasts? Having a hot guy feel them up, measure and poke is just a tad uncomfortable. That’s like having a hot GYN, it just ain’t right.

It actually wasn’t that bad. He has great “bedside” manner and was very professional. Told me all the things I wanted to hear before getting me naked and was very gentle and informative as he examined and silently judged my boobs.

After the examination and pillow talk the doc left me with silicone and bras for me to try on different sizes. It’s strange the weight and feel of those things on my body. The smallest size looked HUGE to me, but the nurse assured me that bigger would be better. So I tried the next size. Now I’m feeling like Dolly Parton’s sister. But still, I’m only at a mid-high C at this point, so I went ahead and tried on the third size up. WOW! Im not sure what I would do with these, but I’m sure I would get paid for it!

So, I wrote out that take your breath away, what the fuck am I doing check to reserve my surgery date and was given a nice little bag with 2 of my favorite size boobs to experiment over the weekend. I had a blast. It’s nice to see how proportioned I look and how I fill out my shirts. The size I am choosing is not an OMG DOUBLE TAKE size. I did catch some lookers, but not many and I was happy about that.. I’m not doing this to get attention. I still haven’t been able to really express in words the why’s but I am confident in my decision and I know I will be happy with the results

To be continued……

BOOBYA!

Treadmill Euphoria #2

2008-04-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

You got the job. Not only did you get the job at the salary you asked for, you negotiated a better rate during your contract period, awesome.

What’s that smell?

Ok, things are starting to fall into place, what’s next, oh yeah, the roommate, shit.

Damn it to hell, what iiisss that smell?

Ugh, the roommate. I just can’t keep going like this, I need my house back and my TV.

Fuck, who is farting, man that is just nasty, be considerate.

I wonder if when I get my boob job how much they will bounce when I run. That’s going to be annoying, I mean look at them now, they don’t even move with my sports bra. I’m going to have to get a really good sports bra when I get my Cs.

Damn it to hell! Who is farting? It has to be that guy right next to me! Stomping on the treadmill like he is fucking Forest Gump! Run Forest, RUN!

When will my runner’s high happen. I’ve been at it now for 20 minutes. I’m going to push a bit.

Oh, no he didn’t, oh god, he did and he saw that I saw. I can’t believe he just adjusted himself to that degree while running next to me, look away, quickly, pretend you did not see. He knows I know. Fuck, I almost fell, he is distracting me. Awkward!

That smell again, how can I expect to have my orgasm with that smell?

Turn music up, aw yeah, J.T. Baby!

Ah, Aw, Oh, YES! Damn Girl! YES! FINALLY!!! Tingles, rush, release.

Oh yeah, that was good.

See C?

2008-04-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

So I am seriously contemplating a “Breast Augmentation”. Yup, I want a boob job. I’m tired of being so god damn flat, “but you have such a great personality…” bullshit! I want boobs. Maybe I’m vain, maybe I’m insecure, whatever, I want C’s.

I have a good friend who had the procedure done a year ago. I got to see her over the weekend and she has beautiful breasts. She has a build a tad smaller than mine and she underwent enhancement and obtained C’s. They are soooo lovely.

I have a lot of support to undergo this enhancement. I have my parents, daughter and even my grandmother rooting for me to acquire this much more voluptuous self. How can I not listen to my sweet grandma? “you should have done long time ago, maybe you keep man around”. (in my best Japanese accent) Seriously!

Last night I sat with Mr. Kendall Jackson and had deep thoughts; Floors or boobs? Car or boobs? More savings or boobs? It’s such a dilemma.

Armed with my new iPod shuffle (see,it would have never worked) and fashion conscious workout clothes (pink of course) I headed to the gym today determined to transform my body into something more suitable to show off C’s. I’m thinking that if this is motivation to get that stellar body I’ve been wanting, surely I can gift myself with a stellar pair of tatas, tits, jugs, melons, milk jugs, babaloos, gobstoppers……..

Top 5 Things to do in Vegas

2008-04-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

5. Dress Up

I don’t mean prom dresses here, I mean pick a theme and run with it. We chose to go 70’s style. I picked up a cute authentic 70’s orange dress and paired it with some big orange hoop earrings. I was feeling a bit self conscience at first since the moment I bent over I was exposing more than I cared too but I quickly learned how to gracefully do what I needed without mooning everyone. I had the makeup and hair to match and I have to admit, I looked hot in a crazy 70’s way.

4. Drink Pina Coladas by the Pool Side

This is a luxury I do not posses and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 78 degrees, sipping on a Pina Colada, surrounded by beautiful people and the sweet, sweet voice of my boy. What more could a girl ask for? This was my 2 hour Heaven.

3. Watch the Light Show on Fremont…lying down.

We went to the original Vegas Strip on Fremont Street. Granted it was ghetto and all the cottonheads hung out there but it was a lot cheaper and had as much energy as the main strip.
There is this canopy of lights on Fremont Street and a show is performed about every 45 minutes or so. The canopy is way up in the sky so you have to look up to watch the show. After about 2 minutes of cranking my neck to watch this show, I decided to lie down. Sure, it’s a Vegas sidewalk and it’s dirty with lord knows what, but I thought to myself, I’m human and I’m washable, what the hell it’s Vegas. So I watched the rest of the show on my back. It was such a better experience. By the time the next show started we had other people lying down too. I’m telling you folks, don’t think about it, just do it it’s such a better experience.

2. Play Poker

Playing poker can be an intimidating experience if you’ve never done it before. I did get a crash course and actually took second in a poker tournament right before I left for Vegas, BUT it still is not as scary as I thought it would be. What I learned is it’s not the winning, it’s enjoying the social aspect of poker. You meet a lot of people and it’s entertaining to just watch. Of course winning is always fun, especially when you are the only woman at the table.

Drumroll please.........

THE NUMBER ONE THING TO DO IN VEGAS…….

Walk the strip with a Banana

Yup you read that right folks. This banana which we now all know as Wilson, an inspiration from the Volleyball in Cast away was more entertaining than watching grown men in blue paint. It wasn’t just the banana it was the person carrying the banana, only he could pull this off. I anxiously waited for the first person to actually not laugh it off and just punch him in the face but it never happened. He pointed this banana at people, ran up to innocent bystanders taking family photos and posed happily with these unsuspecting victims. They will always remember the crazy guy with the banana and I will always remember the following quotes that you will only hear in Vegas while carrying a banana down the strip ;

“Sir,no bananas are allowed on the table”
“Sir, please remove your banana from the table”
“Man, he’s gettin banana juice all over the place”

And the best quote Eva in Vegas:

Damn! That mothafucka'z ripe!”

Slowly Awaking

2008-03-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last 5 years in a coma. I think I actually started slipping into the deep sleep of denial before that, but I know the last 5 years I let everything I was and wanted to be, slip away. It was just easier and natural for me to allow myself to get lost in the people I cared about rather than worry about my needs and wants.

No more.

I found myself in the same position I have continued to give into after all these years. I fell and I fell hard. Before I knew it I had lost myself, again, or so I thought. While I freaked out because I thought I had lost myself, I realized that by letting go to something I was firmly holding on to, I found my liberation. It was hard and painful, but I knew it wasn’t right, not now, maybe not ever. I no longer gave up me to accommodate (fill in the blank).

I have never felt as awake as I did cleaning my garage today. I was accomplishing a long over due task, the first of several and it felt good. He released me, I released us and I finally said yes, this is for me and I deserve it.

Everyone is Irish Today!

2008-03-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

I really should be studying right now. I mean after I got rejected, that’s right, me from a job I realized I need to study and get my shit together before I interview again. I was so excited for this interview. This is an edgy, innovative company and thought for sure the people who work there would have the personality to match. Not so much. This guy had a big stick up his butt and I’m not saying that just b/c he rejected me. Truly, he is why DBAs are stereo-typed as anal retentive perfectionists. I know I would not have fit in after all.

So I was totally focused on getting off of work, going to the gym, shampooing my carpets, grocery shopping and studying all when I got home. Instead, I spent time bullshitting with family, getting beer and coming home to update my blog with nonsense. First of all, how was I going to accomplish all that in one night, second, it’s St. Patty’s day why would I want to accomplish all that this night?

I officially celebrated St. Patty’s day Saturday night. It was my first time…EVA to go somewhere for St. Patty’s day. I went downtown, stood outside in the semi-cold, in a line for about 15 min. Got to the front to pay a $10 cover to enter the event which was outside in the semi-cold and getting colder to drink $9 beers and watch others drink $9 beers. I later discovered, after my 2nd $9 beer why this event is so successful. It’s because after your 2nd and counting $9 beer you just don’t give a shit anymore and suddenly everyone is funny and your best friend. So, by the end of the night, I found myself having a blast! So I guess you can’t judge an event by it’s cover, not until you have a few beers at least.

Loving is Letting Go

2008-03-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

This was a quote I recently came across in the movie Jane Austen’s Book Club. It’s funny how when we are going through different chapters of our life our eyes are open to things relevant to our current circumstances.

My personal belief is spiritual. I believe that someone above is looking out for me. I believe that these little signs that my eyes are open to at that very moment are blessings letting me know it’s going to be ok. It is always an opportunity to learn from the experience and make it a part of who I am.

People who cross my path, and I theirs have always had significant meaning for me. It is the brief encounter with a stranger when something is said that may have not meant much to them, but are words that have an impact on me. The pastor in church whose service felt like it was meant, just for me. The relationship you thought would last forever and it was so painful to let go , but in the end both of you are on a new path to better things.

I can’t ever believe that time I have spent in a place, with a person is ever a waste. I have spent several years of my life not really happy. I’m the kind of person that can find the best in everything and that’s what I did. I wasn’t happy, but I was accommodating and I accepted the place I was in, made the best of it. That has since ended. It was a bitter ending. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me and to him.

The earlier chapters of my life have had their challenges and blessings. These past few years have really been the hardest. I have had to face some truths and learn to cope. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. I may never have it fully figured out, but I don’t need to. I just need to know how I feel today and live in the moment for awhile. This is something I’ve never done and I need to relish the opportunity I have to do it now.

Simple Kind Of Life

2008-02-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

I have this constant yearning, this tug at my heart pulling me. It never stops. It will subside for awhile, as the chaos which is my life distracts me from this desire, but it never goes away.

I want to believe that this is my destiny. This is what I am supposed to do and be. It isn’t anything noble, it’s actually a selfish desire. It just feels like it’s where I belong.

I can easily imagine walking through narrow allies, chatting with the locals. Fresh bread baking. Stop in for espresso. Walking up ancient steps to my little jewelry shop.

Salt in the air from the Mediterranean Sea. Fisherman unloading his small boat loaded with the catch of the day for the local Ristorante. Simple pleasures. A Felines paradise.

These are rambling thoughts, I know. I feel it so deeply I cannot express it in words. It’s just been one of those days I like to escape to my place of serenity.

Pushing Daisies and Wine

2008-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

Vida Organica: Chardonnay

Tangerines, Peaches, grapefruit.

I’m giving value wines another chance. This one is pretty good. I know there are other flavors in this if I;
1. Did not review it before it hit my blood stream.
2. I allowed it to age a bit.

I like this one, for a white wine. It’s an Argentina wine made from organic grapes. I’m not a huge white wine fan. They are either too sweet or too grapefruity. This one has a citrus punch to it, but it’s not grapefruit. It has a sweetness to it that resembles not so ripe tangerines. That’s all I could think of with this. I think there are some floral notes, but I will need to try it a little more sober. I want to say jasmine, but the judgment of my taste buds have been altered a bit at this point. I want to say this has been fermented in steel barrels, I’m not getting any oak in the flavor, which is what I prefer so it is surprising I like this one. However, I am no expert

I think I found my new show! Pushing Daisies. I love it. There is magic, humor, knitting and olfaction!! Yes, olfaction! The first episode I watched on abc.com. “Death by Scratch and sniff”. You had me at knit, sniff, knit!

I will be spending the next few nights as I have time to catch up on the show. While I don’t want to commit yet, I think this show has potential.

I’ve started my 3rd project for my charity knitting resolution. I’m knitting a baby sweater. Awww! It’s a lot of fun and a great break from my lace knitting and daisy wrist warmers.

Speaking of those projects. I’m not happy. I spent an hour trying to figure out why my count was off on my lace project. It ended up I had already knit that row that I was trying to knit it again. I won’t explain, knitters will understand.

My daisy wrist warmers are going ok, but not really portable friendly. I’m using 4 colors and to pull it out during a lunch break, it’s just too hard. No pun intended. I’m going to keep this project in the bedroom.

I will be posting pictures soon of my UFO’s, FO’s and creepy close up body shots. Ok, maybe not that last part, I’ll save that for a different site.

Forever Charmed

2008-01-31T08:05:00.000-08:00

So, I finished watching Season Eight of Charmed. Regardless of the fact that it ended the way I knew it would, I enjoyed every ounce of it. I laughed, I cried, my heart fluttered when Phoebe fell in love. I can’t help it. I love Charmed. So they are witches and vanquish demons, it’s all for the greater good.

So now I’m looking for a new show to get hooked on. I was hooked on Grey’s for a little bit. I watched it religiously for two seasons. I’m over it. I just don’t see the point in watching an anorexic girl constantly crying about how depressing her life is and the continue pursuit of a man who really needs to grow some balls. Don’t get me wrong, Patrick Dempsey is hot, but Dr. McDreamy has lost his appeal.

Then there is Desperate House Wives. Again, I was hooked for about two seasons, but lost interest right away when I realized I live in that neighborhood. There is no use for me to watch it on TV when I get to experience the real deal.

There have been a couple of reality shows here and there, but nothing is really sucking me in. It’s kind of depressing.

So, I have contemplated my options and have come to this conclusion: I am Forever Charmed. I have no other choice but to order Charmed through my netflix. I’m going to start with Season One and work my way through it again. Nothing is cooler than three strong women with an awesome wardrobe kicking some major demon ass in heels.

Pizza, Beer and Rocks

2008-01-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

Friday I took the day off and spent it with my guy frolicking around in Golden, Colorado. Days like this remind me of the awesome state I live in.

We started the day with an authentic Mexican breakfast at a new restaurant in my town. It was good stuff. I plan on visiting this restaurant frequently. Not only to support my weakness for Mexican food, but also to support his business. Where I live it is very suburban and very white. I have seen really good ethnic restaurants come and go due to this factor. It’s a shame.

Next we headed up to Golden, Colorado, our first stop was the Geology Museum at the School of Mines. We spent a good amount of time there coveting the earth’s treasures and fantasizing about trips we can take to acquire our own pretty rocks. I really got into rock hounding this past summer. I had always been interested but did not realize how accessible this hobby is. Colorado is a very mineral rich state and I have barely scratched the surface with places to explore. I have two very large containers full of rocks I collected this past summer and rocks in my house and at work. I am still finding rocks in jackets I have worn out rock hounding and in my car. People look at me funny because I will pick through the gravel at work in search of a hidden treasure. I will also be the proud new member of a local Rock Hounding group this Friday and will in the near future own a rock tumbler. Yes, I am a nerd.

We were going to go hiking and collect, you guessed it, rocks but the winds where pretty harsh and we did not want to deal with the mud and blowing snow. So that left us with no choice but to explore the Coors Brewery. The tour was awesome. We got to see how beer is made, bottled and shipped out. The smell was amazing! The best part of the tour was the 3 free beers you get at the end of the tour. Right on!

Our last stop was Woody’s Woodfired Pizza. Talk about good eaten! They have an all you can eat special for their salad bar, awesome pizza and fantastic Beer Cheese Soup. We also got there during happy hour, score!

To sum up our day; Mexican Breakfast – $13.00 Geology Museum –$ 0.00, Coors Tour – $0.00 Dinner at Woody’s $20.00. Move over Rachel Ray and let the geeks show you how to really have fun under $40.00

Resolution #8

2008-01-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

I am a pool whore. I don’t care who I play, as long as I can play.

You see, pool is new to me. I mean, I’ve always been up for playing but I never took the game seriously until recently. I decided I would actually try playing pool non-slop. I had realized pool requires a strategic and analytical tactic. Right on. So, the first night I took the game seriously I kicked ASS. Yeah! That’s right, who’s you’re daddy? I made my man proud. Since then I’ve done O.K. I’m at a point where I’m thinking too hard about what I’m doing.

I think where I’m going wrong is the fact that I never took geometry. Math was always a struggle for me until algebra. Then I rocked. I achieved what I needed credit wise for math and got the hell out of there. I actually dropped out of geometry because I had all my math credits. Shit! Beyond the basic math needed to balance my checkbook I just didn’t think anything else would be necessary. Well, learn from me kids, geometry is a must!

I’m 5’3 and ¼ (the ¼ does count), and a buck 15, 18,20,15. I have the demeanor of someone you would be afraid to share offensive four letter words with (haha!). I have this fantasy; I’m a fuckin, rockin pool shark, ya! It’s a goal really. I don’t know why. I just think it would be cool to be the “little girl” who kicks ass. Don’t fuck with me. This is my alter ego coming out, I know it. Still, it would be cool.

2008-01-01T19:59:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in my previous post I had resolved to complete my first charity knitting project by January 1st 2008 for Warm Woolies. I would spend all of December 31st working to accomplish this goal. Well, I’m here to report that I did not accomplish this goal as initially planned. I actually completed two projects!! A knitted hat and a matching set of my first mittens ever. They are so tiny and cute!

I really enjoyed these projects. Knitting is such a generous hobby and it feels good knowing that my hands created a gift of warmth and love. I hope that I have made these with the quality to last through many children. This was such a fun project my goal for 2008 is to knit at least one project for charity each month,

Well, I'm beat. I hope everyone had a great New Year!

Hallelujah!

2007-12-27T18:46:00.000-08:00

I love New Years. My mood has taken a 180 now that the Holiday season is wrapping up. I got through it and everyone is still alive. Hallelujah!

Tonight was a good night. I made some rockin Clam Linguini that I enjoyed with some Asiago shavings and a glass (2,3) of Gabbiano Wine.

I just started drinking Gabbiono, well really Chianti wine again. I forgot how much I like Chianti wine, it reminds me of Tuscany so much. It has a prevalent olive flavor and musty aroma. A cool thing I learned about Chianti Wine is a Classic Chianti that originates from the Tuscan Chianti region may be identified by a Black Cock on the label. This is a “true” Chianti. Other Chianti’s are such due to their main Grape varietal Sangiovese, So, needless to say, when I want a really good Chianti I look for the Black Cock. Go ahead, laugh.

I have not posted about knitting in awhile so here it is. I am working on my first lace project… For those of you who do, have tempted, or even thought about lace knitting you will understand the complexity and patience this type of project requires. For you non-knitters, leave me the f@$& alone and let me knit this god damn thing or else I will jab my knitting needles into BOTH of your eyes. I do not plan on finishing this thing until December 2008.

For relaxation I have started knitting dish cloths out of Mason Dixon Knits. I completed my first one and I love, LOVE it. It feels so good and productive! I like me a good productive dish cloth.

Tonight I’m going to dig into my stash and pull out all my wool and for a good cause. No, it’s not to roll around in nekkid. I found this great site for Charity knitting,Warm Wollies I have really wanted to do Charity Knitting and there is no time better than New Years to get started on this great resolution. I have been blessed with lots of wool yarn that will be prefect for these small projects. The really cool thing about this Charity is they will also supply the wool yarn if needed. So, New Years Eve, I’ll be casting on for a child in need.

If I don’t find something to rant, rave, or rattle about before the new year , Happy New Year!! See you in 2008.

Ms Bitch Grinch

2007-12-21T12:42:00.000-08:00

What was once a time dedicated to family, friends and peace on earth has now become a time of chaos, stress and many unhappy people.
It’s interesting because even my family will express the stress and amount of money that we all invest into Christmas for one another, however each year there is no desire to change. To me the best Christmas gift from someone would be not to exchange Christmas gifts at all. Personally, Christmas is not the opportunity for me to think of all the things I want but have not acquired and add them to a wish list for someone else to spend time and money on.

Now, I’m not that much of scrooge. I understand the great feeling you have when giving gifts to people you love. You want to see them happy and excited and it feels good when you are giving them happiness. Unfortunately this happiness is produced from inanimate objects imported from third world countries marked up at least 10 times and shoved down our throats by society telling us that these are things that we want because it’s cool. Shopping for these things to give to folks I love leaves a lot to be desired. It just makes me grumpy and judging by the look on everyone else’s face at the mall it seems I’m not alone. This season is not about peace, it’s about cutting someone off so you can get that parking spot and waiting in endless lines in highly perfumed department stores so you can walk out sick and with a pounding headache. This in turn pretty much dissipates any driving etiquette you may have had left after dealing with Holiday traffic because now you just want to get home as quickly as possible regardless of how rude and inconsiderate you have to be. It just sucks.

I would have to say the best Christmas I have had are the ones that I make gifts. I am blessed to have a passion to create. Hand crafted gifts are much more personal to me. I know when I am creating a gift I’m in a good place and I’m thinking of that person from a good place. I’m not already 5 minutes in a line with probably 5 more minutes to go thinking of all the other lines I need to stand in next. I’m at home enjoying my children as we create things together, drinking a nice cup of tea with old fashion Christmas music playing gingerly in the background. Ok, maybe it’s not that serene, I have teenagers and they do get on my nerves, but I wouldn’t trade it for the mall and traffic.

The thing about hand crafted gifts is you need to think ahead and be prepared in which this year I was not. So, I armed myself with my best Bitch Grinch expression and headed out to the War of Retail.

Gimme More

2007-12-08T22:29:00.000-08:00

I don’t know how to respond to “Damn, you look good for your age” from a 20 something and “Why are all the beautiful girls spoken for?” from a 70 something on a Friday night at a bar. Let me add, not only did the 70 something continue to drop the lines on me all night, he also proceeded to gyrate his hips to Brittany’s “Gimmi More” smacking an imaginary ass while pointing at me and showing me his toothless grin. Flattered I am not.

Is this the typical night out for a single 30 something? I really don’t know if this is typical or if I should be offended and depressed. Here I have a fairly good looking early 20 something letting me know he is impressed with how well I have kept up with my appearance compared to the other two 30 something’s he knows. I realized I must have not behaved as grateful as he expected since he had to point out he was trying to pay me a compliment. I must have missed the compliment since his comments of “for your age” and “compared to the other two 30 something’s I know” rang in my head like bells of realization that I am no longer the wide eyed, curious and carefree 20 something girl he is probably use to. Where did all that time go?

Then I have a late 70 something letting me know I’m missing out on something good which he well implies is something in his groin area. While he is going to town bumpin N grindin, creeping up on me I desperately look for an out. Damn, too late. He is way too close for comfort whispering in my ear crap about my nationality which turns into a serious lecture about the Irish Republican Army. Squeezing my hand and looking at me straight in me eyes he says “girl you better ask your daddy about he I.R.A.” At that point I momentarily feared for my life even though I knew that with the pool stick in my hand I could take him. Scary. I don’t know why they let crazy people in bars and then liquor them up, but whatever. I think I handled it well.

I guess what it boils down to is how I feel about me. Sure, I get the occasional reminder that my 20 something days are long over, however, I feel young, and I’m sure I always will. I embrace life and alls its heartaches, challenges and successes and I try to experience everything to it’s fullest. It’s all a part of growing, “up”. :0)

2007-12-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

In attempt to get into the Christmas Spirit I have half-heartily spewed up what a friend likes to call "Christmas Puke" in my home. It's very minimal right now and I don't really have any plans to add more. Adding more entails cleaning more later and I'm just not in the mood.

Normally I’m not such a scrooge. I’m usually an easy going, fun loving gal to the point of making others sick with my optimism. Lately I’ve been telling people what I really think about them and I stare at them as if they are morons until they go away. Road rage is now prevalent in my everyday commute home. Merge RIGHT you fucking idiot, Merge Right!!!!! I’m sick and tired of people assuming it’s a merge left and looking at me like I’m being the ass when they in fact are the ASS!!

Ok that may have been a bit much, but I really needed to release some strong emotions I have with the merge right thing.

Back to Christmas Spirit. After visiting v’s wife blog and m•riah blog I had a little spark to get some Christmas Puke in my home. Here it is, stuffed cat and all:

Kidding, the cat isn’t really stuffed but with my patience wearing thin he may be before the season is over if he keeps climbing up my fake tree and knocking the branches off and sending all the pretty ornaments crashing to the floor. Cleaning up those fucking glass globe bullshit ornaments is a pain in the ass and finding them stuck in my toe at 3 am when letting out the dogs is enough to turn what was left of my insanity into gruesome homicidal thoughts.

Here kitty, kitty…..

Season's Greetings, Bah!!

2007-12-03T20:31:00.001-08:00

It’s that time of year. Need I say more?

I may pop in to vent about how I love, love the freakin Holiday’s, but if not see you in 2008!

Partially Empty Nest

2007-11-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

I thought being a mother would be the hardest job I would ever have. Having my first child at 17 and my second at 19 was the beginning of some great challenges in my life. Don’t get me wrong, parenting does have its rewards, but damn, it’s hard. I never know if what I do is right, or if it’s going to put my children in therapy for the rest of their adult lives. Every choice I make will affect my children. The choices I make for them and the choices I make for me.

The course of my life has taken some interesting turns, detours, and jumps. I really thought right now I would be living my happily ever after. I didn’t think I would be a single parent of two teenagers, trying to maintain my career and not forget my dreams.

To be honest, I fantasize about the day my children will be young adults ready to conquer their hopes and dreams of independence. This is only 5 short years away. I know they will still need me, but the everyday cooking, cleaning and homework will be no more. Can you blame me?

The 5 years I thought I had has now turned into just weeks for my youngest. I have had to make a very hard decision that I feel in my heart will be the best decision I can make for him. He is at a challenging age in which any 13 year old boy could really use his father. His father lives a considerable distance which will make this transition very painful. Again, it is what is best, I know this, but it really, really hurts.

For all the dirty diapers, colic, broken limps, and helping them cope with broken hearts, the hardest job I will ever have is letting them go.

FO, I Rule!

2007-11-26T17:16:00.000-08:00

Yes! I rule I have a some FO's to post with pictures!

2 month Anthropologie Shrug!

Eh, 2 months is not bad

1 year socks!!

Ok, so some projects take me longer than others. The socks just came at a bad time in my life and I just could not focus on them. They are my first pair of toe up socks so I had some learnin to do. Anyhow, DONE!

3 Year Scarf!!

This scarf I started in 2005 on an Italy trip. My skills were not at the appropriate level at the time to understand what was required for this pattern that came from Little Box of Scarves. So after many meltdowns, tears, and given up, I picked it up again, and again, year after year and finally understood.Eureka!!

Sniff, Gulp, Click

2007-11-16T22:48:00.000-08:00

The evening started out with a an older gentleman on the other end of the line; “No ma’am we are not meeting tonight, but come round in December as we are having our Holiday Potluck”. It’s not like I even really made up my mind if I was going to go to the Mineral and Geology club meeting tonight anyway, but still it was an option, really the only option I had for any social activity on a Friday evening.

Fine. Plan B.

The time I spent at the bookstore was really nice and peaceful. I picked up a few magazines covering all of the topics I enjoy; Jewelry Design, Retro Crafting, MetalSmith and Rock & Minerals, sat down and thumbed threw each one carefully knowing I could only choose one or two to take home with me. I am a magazine addict. I know this and I almost have it under control. I chose my one magazine, Rock & Minerals and found one book, cashed out and headed home.

Safeway stop. Aged Irish White Cheddar, Italian Dry Salami, Ritz Crackers, and woops, a Martha Stewart Magazine. No, I do not like MS, but I do like the ideas in her magazine, and remember I am an addict. Don’t hate the person, hate the illness.

Home. Open a bottle of wine, arrange my snack, gather my magazines and knitting to set myself up for this quality “alone time”. The intention is to throw in an Audrey Hepburn Classic, sit back, finish a knitting project and bookmark interesting articles for later reading in my magazines.

Damn it to hell! The DVD player is not working. Freakin piece of crap! There goes the Audrey idea. So, I flick through the cable and land on Ghost Whisperer. I typically do not watch this show, but on occasion I will because Jennifer Love-Hewitt is just so cute. This episode concluded with a little girl and her father finding resolution to the death of their mother/wife. Yes, I cried. To my defense, it was a very traumatic. The father was holding on to his wife as she dangled from a cliff that would take her life if he let her go. The daughter came running down to save her mother, stumbled and began to plummet to her death. Had her father not let go of his wife who gave him that reassuring “it’s ok to kill me for our child” look but still dramatically screamed and flailed about as she fell to her death, he would have lost their child. See, very sad, and I didn’t stop there. I proceeded to watch Beaches. This is a movie about two best friends. It ends with one of them dead. Why stop now? I’m on a roll.

Depressing or relishing? It’s two-fold. I couldn’t even make a date with the Geek Club, but I did get in a good, much needed cry and finished the Anthropologie Caplet, FINALLY!!

Self Pics Suck

2007-11-12T20:42:00.001-08:00

I don't want to admit it, but I'm getting into this blogger thing. I know it might look ugly right now, but I'm experimenting with the lame "customization" tools blogger offers. Yes, lame, but I’ve tapped into the HTML... muahhahahaha! Bring it bitch!

Oh, and thanks to persistent nagging and bugging of one Casey (ha, ha linked you!) I have a pic. For the record I hate taking pictures of myself backed to a wall, framing it just right so no one can see my messy house and terrible profile to post on a site for the whole world to see because I am dellusional and think the whole word even sees are cares to visit my blog, shot.

Post it and they will come he says. Whatever, it’s there and I’m done with this conversation.

Boobs, Jewels, and a Wise Man

2007-11-02T23:06:00.000-07:00

So, I lied, the anthropologie shrug is not yet complete. I noticed it looked kind of small. I had hopes that after blocking, it would be a tad bigger. It was a tad bigger and it fits me great, but I made it for my daughter and although we are of the same build, she has a great blessing, or should I say two great blessings that make what fits me, not fit her. Yes, my daughter, all of 15 has been blessed with brains, beauty and boobs. I can say she got the brains and perhaps some of the beauty from me, but come on!!

It’s so not fair. It takes work and a Wonder Bra for me to create an appearance that does not fit the profile of a 12 year old boy. Here I am, practically in a head stand praying that gravity will work WITH me and not against me as a pull and tug and lift my boobs up on the little padded seats ingeniously built into the Wonder Bra to create that appearance of happy perkiness and hoping that when I assume the upright position I’m not “Wondering” why my boobs insist on slipping under the seats. Ah, to be blessed with “athletic” style boobs, except I don’t have the body to fit. I always try to convince myself I don’t want a boob job. Instead, I’ll work out like a maniac to create an athletic body to go with my “athletic” boobs, she says enthusiastically. Ummm, right. I can see the gym from where I work, I... just...can't...quite...make it...over...there.

I’m happy to announce I am still a Rockin Jewelry Designer. Honestly, I totally have red carpet design ability. I mean, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but honk, honk! Ok, that was lame, but I have been breakin out them skillz this week. Hopefully I’ll stop being a loser and actually start selling my work again. It’s not a lack of motivation that keeps me in loser status. I have a lot going on in my life right now so I try to not beat myself up too much about it. I have presented myself with that “fork in the road” if you will. Choose this as a hobby or an occupation, but you have to choose. I tried to choose hobby, but I’m just too damn good at this to let it go to waste, and I love to do it. I’m not looking to make millions of dollars. That is not important to me. I want to have a comfortable life doing what I love and what I have passion for.

“Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life”- Confucius

That Confucius character was on to something, I think.

The Toothbrush

2007-10-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

Le Coq Rouge 2005
“The Red Cock”

“Drink it and don’t think about it.” The clerk at the counter advised. That holds true for most value wines. It’s not half bad. It was the name that intrigued me, so I thought what the hell.

So, I’m cleaning my house preparing for the busy weekend. I know I will not have a chance to do much cleaning this weekend and my guy is coming from over the “bump”, as he likes to call it, so I don’t want to have to worry about it while he is here.

Since he has been taking time to travel here to see me, I’ve decided to put together a little “hospitality” kit. This includes a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream and puff. My initial thought was to get a plastic box to stow away his things and he can help himself when he gets here. It started out with the toothbrush. I also needed a new toothbrush so getting the package with two made sense and was economical. I opened the package and put both toothbrushes in the toothbrush holder. Ah, huh. After examining what I had just done I realized that I had taken a plunge into this so called “next” level of a relationship. Is this a bad thing? No. It’s just weird. I swore off this moment, I did. I bought a toothbrush holder that was made for ONE toothbrush and now there are TWO toothbrushes. When I tried to explain this to him, he felt that by purchasing his manly things in the first place I was displaying the next level anyway. I guess when I had purchased those things I thought “hospitality kit” something to stow away until his next “visit”. Having his toothbrush next to mine is so much more, permanent. Again, not a bad thing, just weird. Then my mind started racing about where to put his razor, I mean if his toothbrush was in the holder with my toothbrush then naturally his razor should be stuck up on the tile next to my venus and if that was the case, then obviously his puff would also hang next to my puff and well if that was the case then….

I am obviously nuking this.

Moving on.

In knitting news, I finally have a good start on the Anthropologie inspired capelet. One thing that threw me off with this project is the very generous blogger who contributed this pattern seems to be off by one stitch on the cast on. She has 49, but the set up row to start the Raglan Increase is a count of 50. Once I got the cast on number correct, I have just been flying through this project. I chose Debi Bliss Cashmerino yarn in cream. It’s a blend of cashmere and merino wool, very yummy. I will be excited to finish this project, this is my first sweater. I am knitting this first caplet for my daughter in which I threatened bodily harm if I ever, EVER find that she is mistreating it, EVER!!! I don’t expect to finish this as quickly as I have seen other bloggers brag about, mostly due to my house being a wreck. I have however refused to feed my children a warm meal until the house is clean in hopes to drive a little motivation from them to help. No, it’s not working out for me Dr. Phil, but it saves me from cooking this week.

Zen Of Mice and Man

2007-10-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight was productive and gratifying. I finished sewing together a knitted mouse that I have had for a few months knitted up and not put together. I never thought I would be a stuffed animal knitter, but due to a new comer in our family Jasper, or as I like to call him “Jazzy Jazz” I just couldn’t help myself. He approved his gift and I am satisfied with this finished object.

I also completed the Moss Stitch Hat for my man to go with his Moss Stitch Scarf. I mentioned in a previous post, I thought moss stitch was going to be torture but after getting into it I realize I’m actually quite fond of this stitch. Working this stitch would automatically launch me into a moment of Zen. Steady movements of my hands and wrists would move the yarn from front to back and back to front producing a rhythm of soft clicking as the needles gently glide together accepting the yarn for transformation.

Knitting is beautiful. I contemplated giving up knitting at one point. I even announced my retirement from knitting as if saying it out load would offer some comfort and strength. This was a choice I had to make. I felt I needed to give up knitting to get ahead in where my true skill and the roots of my passion live. What I learned is knitting keeps me grounded. I’m a deep thinker. I think about everything with every bit of detail I can muster. Knitting allows me this outlet and yet at the same time it relieves me from this burden. I can choose something that is simplistic in design to allow complex thinking. Or I can choose something complex in design to allow simplistic thinking. With complex designs my mind is working its logical gears, generating numbers and understanding patterns which in return gives my overworked analytical gears a rest.

I think the key is to recognize when knitting becomes a burden versus my savior. When I find myself buying yarn, just because or spending endless hours coveting and admiring the beautiful knitted objects fellow knitters share, then I just need to gently nudge myself away and just remember it’s healthy until its indulgence and I am not deserving of such a reward, yet.

Eclecticism

2007-09-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

Moss Stich Scarf: Finished
Moss Stitch Hat: Started
Wine: Debeque Canyon Cabernet Franc 14% Alcohol, nuff said.

My man came over the mountain for a few days. We went to St. Peter’s Dome and found some awesome fluorite, amazonite and quartzy stuff. On our drive he makes this statement: “I’m glad you’re not an eclectic thinker”. Hmmm, let’s analyze the definition of eclectic shall we?

“Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles.”
“Selecting what seems best of various styles or ideas “

Eclectic Art: “the borrowing of a variety of styles from different sources and combining them"

So with these definitions I feel I am totally eclectic. Eclectic in style, music, art, thoughts and personality.
I know there are some other medical and religious cultish meanings, but I’m taking it for what it means to me. Maybe he thinks eclectic = crazy. Ok, I might be a tad crazy, I’ve been called odd once or twice, but the point is this, I really don't have one. I just felt compelled to explain my eclecticism.

Sexy Back

2007-09-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Justin Timberlake is hot. I turn into a little schoolgirl when I see or hear Justin. He’s sexy. I often fantasize that I’m that woman on the dance floor he is lustfully staring at and I’m just shaking my thang all confident like Justin is just another guy. Really, what would I do if I ever met Justin Timberlake in person? I honestly don’t know. My personality is to play it cool, I mean, you know he always has silly girls all over him not containing themselves. I’d have to say, I would probably be one of them. The idea of my ever hooking up with Justin is far beyond my realitt. I may as well act the fool and be one of those silly girls, anything to get close and touch at least one hair on his adorable head, just one.

Now, on the other hand, if some Justin look-a-like approached me it would be a different story. What would a Justin clone approach be? “Hey Sexy Lady, your Sexy Back got me Loved Stone. Damn Girl, Damn, Let Me Talk To You and Set The Mood, cuz you know What Goes Around Comes Around, All Over Again. Um, I don’t think so loser. I mean really, right? There is something about the real Justin Timberlake that makes this work, but anyone else, please, don’t even go there.

I Need a Swift Kick

2007-09-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, soul searching. I have found….nothing, nada, zip. I can’t find what I want, who I am, or where I’m going.

I have ambitions. Lots of them actually, but when I shift focus to those ambitions, I am lost. I don’t know where to start or what to start on and if I should even bother. The things I have started, I’m paranoid that maybe I started on them too soon.Or maybe I have already seen so many obstacles before I began, but I began anyway because for some insane reason I’m feeling stagnate and this was going to offer a challenge and some kind of excitement. Maybe, I’m just jaded from a bad run in with an ambitionholic. I think it’s all the above.

So, I’m trying out this new sleeping aid, listening to Moby, hoping that the effect of this sleeping aid will open my mind and I can come forth with some mystical wisdom and insight into my soul… Guess not.

Just Swallow It

2007-08-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

Row One: K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1
Row Two: K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1

Repeat until piece measure however long you need it to.

I must be a masochist. Here I am knitting, in moss stitch no less, a scarf for my guy. Like he is really going know the difference between garter stitch and moss stitch and the painful swelling of my wrists and life time tendonitis I will develop from bringing the yarn front to back, back to front, front to back until the scarf is the right size to wrap around his neck and strangle him with because I chose to do his scarf in fucking moss stitch. It’s not his fault, but when I finish this thing he’d better be gracious.

On top of it, I just finished a bottle of one day old Pinot Gris that left me just as unsatisfied this evening as it did yesterday evening. You know? Kind of like that first drunken night with a hot new guy? Like the wine label, he appeared to be a sophisticated, bold, yet well balanced. The first night wasn’t so hot because you both had a little too much to drink and he was well, less than adequate to perform. The second night you’re hopes are high but you are sadly disappointed to find he is just as flat as the previous evening before. At least with Pinot Gris I can just swallow it, get a buzz and not fake gratification or be surprised with the aftertaste.

So, I knit here, buzzed, insomnia kicking in with full force. Maybe it’s time to open that bottle of Red Guitar?

Syrah, Shiraz, Shyiraz

2007-08-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

Cherries, Vanilla, assuming oak..

Sting of alcohol.

First Bite into a plum, not quite ripe.

Fuzzy tongue.

Not bad. Debeque Canyon Syrah, Palisade, CO.

I’ve been told the difference between Shiraz and Syrah is Syrah is an “Old World” wine found in mostly European Vineyards and Shiraz is “New World mixed with “Old World” founded in Australia, making itself prevalent in the US. If this is true, then why is the one I’m drinking from GJ, CO called Syrah. I mean technically, wouldn’t it be a Shiraz by definition? Or maybe it can be called Shyiraz, coming from Western Colorada and all.. No matter, it’s not bad. After awhile it reminds me of Cold Stone. I use to get the sweet cream ice cream with black cherries and almonds mixed in. After the air circulates through this wine, I can smell that sweet cream aroma sprinkled with a touch of earth. Very Nice.

I just got off the phone with him. I think my body hit the ceiling and my heart hit the floor. He makes me feel so high and liberated. At the same time my heart sinks and I’m lost to him. I’m exposed, vulnerable and captivated. I listen intently while he speaks of minerals and cleavage. I'm fascinated by his simplistic mannerism when I know he is really complex. Not in the sense of complicated baggage. He has possessed a life that has exposed him to elements that created these different facets that make him who he is. Beautiful.

Living SQL

2007-08-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

Select jb.[5_year_plan_name], jh.[must_accomplish_plan_name], jb.[unique_to_5_year_plan], jb.[plan_detail], jh.[plan_detail] from JensBrain jb join JensHopes jh on jb.jensheart = jh.jensheart Group by jb.[5_year_plan_name]
Order by whatever_makes_fucking_sense_at_the_time

It must make me feel like I have some sense of some control with all the plans I make. I plan a weekly menu. For that menu I write my grocery list, such that I can plan which aisles I will need to hit and in which order. I plan my weekly wardrobe based on weather, meeting agendas, and when I will go to the dry cleaners. I have 5 year plans and I have a 5 year plans for just about any circumstance that may change the previous 5 year plan; “Single Forever Plan”, “Traveling Career Woman Plan”, “My Teenage Daughter Has A Baby At 17 Plan”, “My Son Goes To Live With His Father Plan”, “I Met “The One” Today Plan”.

These are what I call my Top Level Plans. If you drill down into each of the top level plans, you will find that each of them contain a common subset of plans; I want to finish raising my kids in a safe and secure home. I want to live in Europe. I want to excel in my DBA career. I want to be an Artist, and own it. In addition to these common subsets of plans you will also find the plans that are unique according to the top level plan. Drill down into those plans, you will find the details on how I plan to accomplish all this. Clearly, this is the most logical way of dealing with life. You have Top Level Plans, subsets of plans, and details. As the scope of life changes, you can easily INSERT the subsets from Plan A to Plan B, UPDATE the details in Plan C, DROP Plan A and CREATE Plan D.

Don't forget to commit;
GO