Monday, May 19, 2008

Lessons Learned

I learned something very valuable the other night. It’s something that seemed so simple but ended up in such a disaster that I feel it is my duty to share my experience such that no one else will have to endure the same torture I did. Ok, here it goes—

Do not under ANY circumstances drink Chardonnay and decide to Brazilian Wax yourself.

In addition, do not under ANY circumstances fail at Brazilian Waxing yourself and then Nair immediately after. NOT a good idea. NO, NOT a good idea at all. It may seem like a good idea, thanks to the Chardonnay, but I would advise that you either get it professionally done, or just don’t do it, or just do ONE of those things, but not both. Drink Chardonnay afterwards.

Lesson #2. This one, not as bad, but could have potentially been just as much of a disaster. Ok, here it goes—

Bouncing, Gravity and Sweat are no friends of silicone breasts. Use EXTREME caution when giving the ladies a test drive, they are not yet attached to your body and can easily slip right out of your bra while dancing to Get Low, forcing YOU to go much lower than you had planned as you stop those slippery suckers before THEY hit the flo! Luckily I caught the twins when they made it to my belly and was able to gracefully shove them back into my bra without anyone noticing. Phew!

You have been warned.

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