Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Partially Empty Nest

I thought being a mother would be the hardest job I would ever have. Having my first child at 17 and my second at 19 was the beginning of some great challenges in my life. Don’t get me wrong, parenting does have its rewards, but damn, it’s hard. I never know if what I do is right, or if it’s going to put my children in therapy for the rest of their adult lives. Every choice I make will affect my children. The choices I make for them and the choices I make for me.

The course of my life has taken some interesting turns, detours, and jumps. I really thought right now I would be living my happily ever after. I didn’t think I would be a single parent of two teenagers, trying to maintain my career and not forget my dreams.

To be honest, I fantasize about the day my children will be young adults ready to conquer their hopes and dreams of independence. This is only 5 short years away. I know they will still need me, but the everyday cooking, cleaning and homework will be no more. Can you blame me?

The 5 years I thought I had has now turned into just weeks for my youngest. I have had to make a very hard decision that I feel in my heart will be the best decision I can make for him. He is at a challenging age in which any 13 year old boy could really use his father. His father lives a considerable distance which will make this transition very painful. Again, it is what is best, I know this, but it really, really hurts.

For all the dirty diapers, colic, broken limps, and helping them cope with broken hearts, the hardest job I will ever have is letting them go.

2 Comments:

Blogger V's Wife said...

I always think now that if I had only been told that raising my children as the grew up would be a million times harder than childbirth I may have been more prepared.

Great Blog

December 1, 2007 at 12:21 PM  
Blogger J Leona said...

That is the truth! It's not easy being a mom, if it was then I don't think you are doing your job right.

Thanks for stopping by and Happy Holidays!

December 3, 2007 at 8:33 PM  

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